It only takes one

Weekly Review

Three of my selections were, as my hero Roy Walker would say, “good but not right”, however my significant lack of faith in Wolverhampton Wanderers ensured an overall profit of £80 was had this week.

Benfica 0-1 Chelsea (Tip: Benfica to win -£10)

The Portuguese side looked the better side over 90 minutes and created the majority of the chances (17 shots compared to Chelsea’s 11), however they lacked the cutting edge in the attacking third and the Blues nicked it late on. Chelsea will now surely progress.

Apoel Nicosia 0-3 Real Madrid (Tip: Madrid to make the first substitution -£10)

I thought this was one of my most sophisticated bets of all time. However, such is fate, it anticlimactically failed after just 16 minutes when the Cypriot team were forced to replace Portuguese defender Kaka Da Silva because of injury.

Wigan Athletic 2-0 Stoke City (Tip: 0-0 draw -£5)

Stoke were as impotent as I had expected and only had one shot on target in the entire match. However, Wigan were very good and it would seem, for the second week running, I underestimated them.

Wolves 2-3 Bolton Wanderers (Tip: Bolton to win +£105)

I made a big call making this my banker and it was justified. Wolves rallied in the second half and were perhaps a little unfortunate at times, especially with the controversial penalty they conceded.

Nevertheless, eight consecutive home losses speak for themselves and I am sorry, Dan Lloyd, Wolves are now down.

Thank you Mr Banker.

Now they’ve got those goals out of their systems

Longshot – £5 on 8/1 at Coral

Wigan Athletic V Stoke City (Saturday 15.00) – Correct Score: 0-0

Although both of these sides made headlines for their sublime goalscoring last week, both were results of freakish occurrences that will probably never happen again.

From 25 yards out and a slightly acute angle, while facing away from goal, Peter Crouch struck a volley that blamelessly beat Joe Hart, who is the best goalkeeper in England.

Equally ridiculously was, Gary Caldwell, who, statistics aside is one of the worst footballers in Premier League history, showing composure and putting Wigan 2-1 up at Liverpool.

As magical as these miraculous moments were, they are not a true reflection of the players and teams in question.

Roberto Martinez’ Latics have failed to scored in three of their last five at home, While ultra-organised Stoke have only scored twice in their last four away games.

Tony Pulis’ main priority will be to make sure his rigid Potters are difficult to break down and they will be.

What happened next?

More woe for Wigan

Banker – £50 on 3/10 at BetFred

Liverpool V Wigan Athletic (Saturday 15.00) – Liverpool to win

Wigan have played nine games against the current Premier League top seven so far this season, losing seven and drawing two, while scoring only three times. Of these games, four have been played away from the DW Stadium, all of which have resulted in defeat for Roberto Martinez’ men.

Liverpool are far from outstanding at Anfield this season, however, buoyed by the return of the talismanic Steven Gerrard, they have recorded impressive consecutive home wins over Everton and Stoke City.

The Latics have never won in red territory on Merseyside and probably never will.

Smile Kenny.

No likey, no lighty

Weekend Review

On Saturday evening, I laughed as I watched White, a Brighton-based goth, receive a swift and ruthless blackout on Take me out.

By 4pm on Sunday, I felt distinctly empathetic towards him, as all four of my weekend bets turned red for rejection.

Later in the same show, Gracie, the biggest drain on the show’s electric bill with her rarely-turned-off light, said ‘trust’ was the most important thing she looked for in a man.

Now, I am pleading will all readers of the Pie at half time to hang around and trust me, as things are sure to get better very soon.

White failing

Arsenal 5-2 Tottenham Hotspur (Tip: Spurs to win [draw-no-bet] -£10)

Spurs had an off day. It is as simple as that. After taking an early two-goal lead, Harry Redknapp’s team played like a team of young virgins who had just talked elder stunners into bed – they were shocked by their success and frightened by the pressure of finishing the job.

Wigan Athletic 0-0 Aston Villa, West Brom 4-0 Sunderland (Tip: two away wins -£5)

Despite being booed-off by their own support, Villa came very close to winning this one and I stand by selecting them. Sunderland, on the other hand, were awful. Also, I underestimated just how much of a positive impact the Baggies’ Black Country Derby victory over Wolves would have on their immediate form.

Birmingham City 1-2 Nottingham Forest (Tip: Birmingham to win [banker] -£50)

Birmingham boss Chris Hughton said that he was “disappointed” with his side’s showing after Nottingham Forest caused one of the shocks of the season at St Andrews. Believe me Chris, so was I.

I don’t really know how to analyse this anomalous result without delving into the old book of football cliches. Therefore, I won’t bother.

Arsenal 5-2 Tottenham Hotspur (Tip: Arsenal to receive more bookings -£10)

I still believe that this was a very shrewd bet.  I feel that Spurs’ unexpected poor showing and obscene capitulation caused their players to lose their tempers which, consequently, led to silly bookings.

Gracie: keep believing

Road tips

Longshot – £5 on 7.1/1 double at William Hill

Wigan Athletic V Aston Villa (Saturday 15.00) – Villa to win

West Bromwich Albion V Sunderland  (Saturday 15.00) – Sunderland to win

Bottom of the table Wigan have not won at home since August. Aston Villa, on the other hand, have found their results easier to come by on the road this term. 15 of the Claret and Blues’ 28 points have been earned away from Villa Park and Alex McLeish’s side have only tasted defeat three times in 12 games as visitors.

At the Hawthorns, West Brom have lost their last four games against Premier League opposition. Sunderland, rejuvenated under Martin O’Neill, have won five of their last six away matches.

Bent and Ireland celebrate as Villa prove their away-day prowess at Stamford Bridge.