Three-in-one

Anorak’s Big Game Banker bet – £70 on 1/2 at Coral

Unfortunately I was unable to place, or provide you with, any bets in midweek. However, I have been declared “a reasonably healthy male” and I am determined to make up for lost time. Resultantly, I have gone for a combined three-in-one bet.

To clarify:-

• It tenuously qualifies as an Anorak’s bet because it is not on the match result.
• It is a Banker because it is almost nailed on.
• It hinges somewhat on the Big Game. Therefore… you got it!

Manchester City V Manchester United (Monday 20.00) – United to win the Premier League.

Monday night’s clash between Manchester United and Manchester City is the most significant and toughest-to-call Manchester derby in Premier League history.

The bookies make City clear favourites [best price 5/4 at William Hill]  because of home advantage and, perhaps, a certain 6-1 win at Old Trafford in October. However, Newcastle United are the only English top-flight side in better form than the Red Devils.

I simply cannot call this match. In the past five meetings at the Etihad Stadium, each side has won twice and there has been one draw.

This game has been dubbed a ‘winner takes all’ affair. However, it isn’t.

City, who are three points behind their rivals in the Premier League table, do need to win to keep their title chase alive.

A draw would leave United firmly in the driving seat, while a win will all but mathematically seal their 20th English championship.

However, Sir Alex Ferguson’s men will still have a huge chance of retaining their crown if they lose this titanic tussle.

Roberto Mancini’s men would go top with a win against their enemy, but only on goal difference. That means the Citizens would still have no margin for error.

City’s final two fixtures are away at high-flying Champions League chasers Newcastle and at home to ultra-determined relegation-scrappers Queens Park Rangers.

Conversely, United have comfortable fixtures against two mid-table sides – Swansea City and Sunderland – who have nothing to play for.

Been there, won that, made the shit tee-shirt.

They don’t like it up ’em

Longshot – £5 on 7/2 at Stan James

Stoke City V Arsenal (Saturday 15.00) – Stoke to win 

According to the Bible, Hell is a place designed for Satan and his demons to dwell and also a place to punish the sin of those who reject Christ.

To Arsene Wenger, hell is Stoke-on-Trent.

Stoke City are an inferior football team to Arsenal, as clearly reflected by both the Premier League table and the form table.

However, Wenger, who branded tomorrow’s opponents a ‘rugby team’ in August 2010, has struggled to find the formula to combat Stoke on Staffordshire soil.

The Potters’ physical approach, defensive rigidity and willingness to attack via aerial blitz do not sit well with the Frenchman.

The Gunners have only won away at Stoke once in the last 22 years and have lost three of their last four visits to the Britannia Stadium.

Stoke undo Arsenal’s defence from a trademark line-out… I mean throw-in.

I’ll be back

I am currently in hospital undergoing precautionary tests on a minor heart complaint. As a result, yesterday’s Weekly Review and this week’s midweek tips have been cancelled.

I apologise to my readers for the gaping hole that I have undoubtedly left in your Tuesday. However, I am very confident that I will be back very soon to, once again, provide you with juicy betting tips and meaty statistics.

Pie Love

Rob

Continental shame

Banker – £50 on 1/4 at William Hill

Wolverhampton Wanderers V Manchester City (Sunday 16.00) – Man City to win

Since Terry Connor’s ill-fated arrival two months ago, poor old Wolves have not won a game in nine attempts.

Depending on the result at Loftus Road on Saturday, failure to claim all three points against Roberto Mancini’s title-hunters could officially confirm the inevitable end of Wanderers’ three-year stint in the top flight.

However, despite all the doom and gloom, the Black Country outfit have earned one Europe-wide accolade so far this season.

No side in any of Europe’s premier divisions (England, Spain, Germany, Italy, France) has gathered fewer points per home league game. Wolves‘ 11 points from 17 Molineux matches gives them an an average of 0.65 points per game which has proved impossible to beat.

Conversely, opponents Man City have the highest points-per-home-game record in Europe (2.88) and, although their away figure is much less impressive (1.65), this should be a walk in the park.

I predicted the return of Carlos Tevez to be instrumental at Carrow Road last week and he proved me right with a stunning hattrick in the 6-1 thumping of Norwich City.

I fully expect he and his teammates to well and truly fill their boots once again on Sunday.

Terry, you were warned!

Bored into submission

Longshot – £5 on 19/4 at 188Bet

Newcastle United V Stoke City (Saturday 15.00) – Stoke to win

Alan Pardew’s Magpies are in the form of their lives and are, deservedly, level on points with fourth-placed Tottenham Hotspur.

Five consecutive wins have sent confidence sky-high on Tyneside and the team is relaxed, playing free-flowing football and in with a genuine chance of making the Champions League.

However, the last team Newcastle want to play when they are on a roll is Stoke. The Potters are masters in disrupting the momentum of their opposition and, as with all of Stoke’s games, the ball will be out of play for at least 55% of the 90 minutes.

Also, the Geordies’ will seldom have the opportunity to perform their ultra-effective counter-attacks as the visitors’ back-four will rarely venture over the halfway line.

After inflicting wave after wave of pure frustration onto their opponents, Stoke will strike with a trademark set-piece – that is the theory anyway.

If you do follow my advice and back Stoke, I would suggest that you shouldn’t watch the game. You will be disappointed if they don’t win and bored senseless if they do.

Peter Crouch: our centre forward is bigger than yours.